Gordita Pride

I'm gunna take a quick break from "this is what I did yesterday" to talk about something I've noticed here (although first I have to say the fiambre was effing delicious).

I'm pretty sure all my readers are my family and close friends, so you're all aware that I have dealt with all kinds of body image and eating disorder issues in my life.  Don't worry.  I was in a very good place when I left for Guatemala, and I'm still doing great.  But I did find it pretty shocking the first time a coworker at the seminary came up behind me, squeezed my lovehandles, and said "you're a gordita huh?"  Or when my spanish teacher asked if I liked being a gordita, because her daughter's a little gorda like me, but she's not happy about it.  Here in Guatemala, it seems to be very normal to describe people by their body type.  The one fat kid in a group of friends or a class at school is frequently, and almost affectionately, called gordo, as if it is his name.  "Gordo!  Vení aca!  Vamos al parque!"  The other kids aren't really taunting him at all, but you have to wonder about the effect it has on a person.

Somehow, however, there seems to be much less stigma about being gorda here.  Even though someone will call you fat to your face, that totally doesn't mean that you're not super attractive.  The pretty, popular girls can be fat here.  And in a land of beauty pageants, I was stoked to see this girl win Miss Ink Guatemala 2012:

Beating out the likes of:

And the word flaco/flaca is used in the same way and with probably the same frequency as gordo/gorda.  It's just a way of describing someone who is noticably fat or thin.  It doesn't always have negativaty attached to it.

Were I an anthropologist--which I'm not--I could get all deep into the weird mix of beauty standards here in Guatemala:  the differences and overlaps between the indigenous and ladino populations, the influence of colonial powers and US pop culture, etc.  There's even the creepy thing I noticed during the feria, wherein most of the winners of the various beauty pageants had much lighter skin than I'm used to seeing here.  I will leave that stuff for a different post, and hopefully a different author.

All I know is that, after years of hating my body and hating food, I am now the fattest I've ever been in my life.  I am living in a place where people regularly call me fat to my face, and I have never felt more attractive.  Can extensive therapy take credit for this?  OK, maybe a little.  But I am who I am here.  I'm a cool gringa, who speaks pretty good Spanish.  I'm a gordita, but I'm attractive.  And I used to be an athlete, so I'm trying to get back in shape.  But it's not about losing weight.  I gots me some feminine curves, and I'm digging it.  I just want to be able to run fast and beat people up too.  :-)

Now the fact that I am a half a foot taller than the average man here is a separate issue...