This one's gunna be in English

I have a lot to say and not a lot of time to write, so we're switching back to English for this one.

I have heard from multiple Guatemaltecos that Antigua changes all the time, but I did not get it until I showed up with my 2010 Lonely Planet guide, all prepared, only to discover that my book is totally out of date!

Fortunately, the Posada Don Diego, a hotel I read about, does actually still exist.  Tucked in the back of a bakery, this cute, quiet little inn has private rooms with private bath, TV, and hot water for less than $25 a night.

After settling in, I decided to find JP's Rum Bar.  According to my book, this place has delicious gumbo, rum, and excellent nightly live jazz.  I was stoked.  Due to confusing setup and lack of signs, I could not find the street.  After wandering around like a determined idiot for about an hour, I finally got out my map and figured out exactly where the street was. Except it is now a hotel parking lot.  At this point I was starving, so I got my book out and selected a restaurant not far from there.  It was the book's "Our Pick," so it must be good, which means it must still be open, right? Wrong.  So I finally went to the extremely touristy, but actually suprisingly quality Mono Loco.  I was torn between California-style fish tacos and a burger, but then I saw I could get sliders and sample the burger menu.  There was one with bleu cheese and bacon, and one with avocado and bacon.  Mmmm!  Honestly, though, I don't think bacon is delicious enough to make up for the fact that I'm eating an adorable, sentient being.  Just my opinion.  I also had a Patrón margarita and an apple cheesecake chimichanga...which is basically what you get when you combine a cheesecake with an apple pie and fry it.  I might be diabetic now, but it was sooo yummy.

But yeah... OH EM GEE are there gringos everywhere!  At least I was prepared ahead of time.  It's exactly like I imagined.  Everyone who saw my skin color spoke English to me.  Annoying Americans were speaking way too loudly everywhere I went.  Street vendors were being really obnoxious because they assumed I'm rich and looking for tchotchkes.  It's kind of cool though, in that there are also travellers from all over the world--especially Germany for some reason.  It's fun in the way hostels are fun.  You can meet other travellers and hear their stories.  I had gone so long without hearing "Call Me Maybe" though...

Saturday I slept in till 8AM, which felt amazing.  Then I slowly got ready for the day while watching a really strange animated children's show/movie about a guy going around begging for work and a street dog whose best friend is a flea and ghosts and stuff.

I stepped out of the hotel and walked about 20 steps to the Igesia de La Merced.  Outside I stopped for some fresh, delicious mango.  Street fruit is one of the few street foods I'll eat and it's soooo nummy!  It comes in a bag with a pretty hefty portion, and it's all cut up and ready to eat.  You don't have to worry about the peel or the pit.  And it costs like 80 cents.  And you can get chili and spices and stuff on it if you want.  (Note to anyone who intends to try this: you still gots to use judgement.  I generally only eat street fruit first thing in the morning, when it hasn't been sitting out all day.  Also avoid anything with added water cuz it's probably tap water.  Also avoid anything covered in flies.)

The Iglesia de La Merced is pretty cool.  You can pay Q5 to see the ruins of the old convent.  There's a huge fountain in the middle of the courtyard that is supposedly the biggest fountain in Latin America or something.  I like that it has mer-angels.  There's also a music school in the ruins, which I like a lot.  Little kids were having marimba, guitar, and violin lessons.

From the church I wandered to Antigua's famous arch.  It's just a cool-looking arch.  I don't really know what to say.  I think they coppied an arch from another city.

Then I saw Nim Pot.  It's a textiles shop and it had so many pretty colors that I accidentally found myself inside.  It's cool even if you're not looking to buy stuff because they have traditional blouses and skirts from all over Guatemala, arranged by region.  It's like a museum.  I did buy a couple little things though.

Next I went to the Democrats Abroad Labor Day Picnic.  I had a great time, and I'm really glad I went.  I chatted with lots of interesting people, and requested my absentee ballot. We had a classic American cookout: burgers, dogs, potato salad, etc.  I must say, however, that I am extremely disappointed in my age group!  I was by far the youngest (non-child) person there.  There was one other young-ish dude, but I'd guess he's well into his thirties.  The rest of the crowd was somewhere in between my mom's age and my grandparents' age... leaning a little towards my grandparents' age.  I enjoyed myself, but I worry.  There are a TON of long-term travelers and expatriots my age (or a little older) in Antigua alone.  They had better not be ignoring the elections back home!  I'm trying to think of a good place to write an article or letter or something where I can get their attention.

After the picnic, I made a trip in honor of my grandmother to the chocolate museum.  The museum is free AND I learned a ton of stuff.  Totally worth it!  I sampled some chocolate and some chocolate tea, and bought some tea, two truffles (which were actually a lil too sweet for my taste), and chocolate shampoo (mostly cuz my hotel room didn't come with soap or shampoo and i was greasy...but also because I was curious and cacao's good for your hair).  I also briefly peaked into a free Mayan Cosmology Museum, but I A-D-D-ed out of there pretty quickly.

The one place I really wanted to visit that I did not make it to was the Azoteca Cultural Center in nearby Jocotenango.  They have a coffee museum, a textiles museum, and a a folk instrument museum.  You get to sample the coffee!  I think it's kind of an all-day thing though, and they're only open in the mornings on Saturdays and not at all on Sundays, so next time!

After resting in the central park for a few minutes, I made my way to the Iglesia San Francisco. The church is beautiful, and the ruins are impressively ruined!  One of the cooler churces I've ever visited.  And it is the home of Brother Pedro, Guatemala's only saint, canonized in 2002.  I visited his tomb and a very cool little museum about his life and miracles and stuff.

 After the church, I was tired and hungry, so I attempted to go to Café No Sé.  I had heard about their great food, cool vibe, and "Ilegal Mezcal," and decided I had to check it out.  They do exist, but they now open at 6PM, so I went to Y Tu Piña También to wait.  They have pretty legit smoothies.  Their menu's a little tiny, and there were really loud American girls talking in the corner... but the latter's not their fault.  Eventually I got bored and wandered into Dyslexia books, where I bought a book in English.  I've been trying to do all Spanish all the time, but it looks really interesting.  Finally, Café No Sé opened, and I went in only to learn that they no longer have food.  Damn you Antigua!

So I went back to my hotel room, watched some more TV, dropped off some stuff, and finally thought to read a current magazine from Antigua instead of my out-of-date Lonely planet for restaurant ideas.  I checked out La Cuadra magazine (ironically produced by Café No Sé).  The cover said "This Month´s Featured Story: The International Museum of Toilets."  I thought my dad would appreciate that.  Apparently the museum's in India somewhere.  I don't know.  I didn't read it.  My horoscope said, "Capricorn - You will be tossed out of your favorite watering hole, but for the record, I think it'll be in error.  A self-depricating Jewish man getting a little talkative after a few glasses of wine does not, in my estimation, constitute a 'drunken anti-simitic rant.'"  Doesn't sound like me, but the magazine did know that I'm Jewish!

Anywho, I decided to check out Frida's.  The general rule I've figured out through my travels in the US is the closer to Mexico you are, the better the quality of Mexican food.  So you'd think that Quetzaltenango, Guatemala--only a few short hours from Mexico, Spanish-speaking, with shared ancestors, and in Central America--would have delicious Mexican food.  But no.  Antigua, however, makes up for it.  I tentatively inquired about the mole at Fridas, and the waiter brought me a sample.  It was delicious!  Also, the service is extremely fast, the prices are reasonable, and the bartender was wicked professional with the bottle-flipping and everything.  I ate enchiladas with mole.  It was so yummy!

I frequently think I hear my name here, but I'm usually wrong.  First of all, Maya is an extremely common word in Guatemala, as it is the name of the native people.  Also, there are many common Spanish words ("vaya" for example) that sound very similar.  Also, I am slightly hard of hearing.  When I heard my name in Frida's however, it seemed different.  I slowly turned around and saw two guys I had recently met and hung out with in El Cuartito in Xela.  One of them had actually let me use his computer to post one of my recent blog posts. Small world!  So then I had a belly full of yummy food and friends to hang out with.

We hit up Café No Sé to try the Mezcal.  Honestly, the story impressed me more than the taste, but I don't really know anything about mezcal.  If you would like to try for yourself, it is now widely available in the US, including at Agave in Newburyport, Mom.

Then we went to an Irish Pub and danced our butts off until what felt like really late (I think it was like 11).

Sunday morning I relaxed and watched more TV, got me some more mango, and eventually checked out of my hotel and wandered down the street to find some breakfast.  I went to Luna de Miel, which occupies the spot that, according to Lonely Planet, is a café/bar called Kafka's.  Luna de Miel is a delicious crepe place.  I had a crepe with pesto, chicken, mozzarella, and avocado, and a milkshake with chocolate, banana, and milk.  Mmmmmmmmm!


Then I went towards the terminal to check out the big market and the bigger artisans' market.  It was cool I guess.  There are lots of really pretty wooden masks and textiles and jewelry and instruments and stuff.  You can find it all in Xela though.  But then I called up my friend from El Cuartito/Fridas and hitched a ride back to Xela and that was awesome!  So much comfier and faster and funner than the bus!

Overall it was an awesome weekend trip!  Thank you so much to my family for your inspiration and financial support!

Today I translated the menu of the Santa Escolástica Café.  :-)

I'm sleepy.